Horror Story

I never thought I'd be THAT Dad who runs and hides from his kids in the bathroom just to get a minute of peace and tranquility. But that's exactly what I did this morning. It was all I could think to do to escape what felt like a zombie invasion.

First I could hear their little feet shuffling through the hall sniffing out their prey eventually finding it in mommy and daddy's bedroom. Then I felt their little hands tugging and clawing at me while I lay in my bed and just like in the movies I refused to open my eyes as if they'd go away deterred by my false obliviousness. The sounds of their voices whining for chocolate milk, the same way old school zombies use to moan for brains.

So I did what any responsible, reliable father would do when he's ripped from his slumber.

I ran.

Straight into the bathroom and locked the door. I never even looked back as I heard the pitter pat of small feet trying to keep up with me. One hand knocked on the door, then two, then three turned to four as my 2 and 4 year old daughters relentlessly punished my bathroom door for my cowardice. The doorknob jiggled and shook before they realized the lock would in fact keep them out.

As the banging stopped and the little feet shuffled away I stared at myself in the mirror and recognized the horror in my own eyes. I had gotten away but for how long? Then I heard a familiar voice crying out for help.

They went after mommy. Yes!