Mixed Messages

There are so many facets of our lives where we have to decide whether to make decisions based on our hearts or our heads. In the past, during those horrible, disgusting, unsatisfying, meaningless days of bachelorhood, I struggled with these kinds of decisions constantly. If my heart said "call the girl so she knows you're thinking about her", then my head would say "whatever you do, DON'T call her. Because then she'll know that you're thinking about her".

Even in my professional life I'd struggle with this kind of internal debate. My heart might say "go ahead and stay until the job is done. Establish yourself as reliable and competent". Meanwhile the thought upstairs was "whatever you do, DON'T stay late because then they'll always expect you to stay late. And they're not even paying overtime." Just confusing.

And now that I'm a dad I'm realizing that Heart vs. Head dynamic is still an issue. Except now we're talking about raising well-rounded kids who will one day be able to take care of themselves. So the stakes are much higher than expressing my feelings for some girl or getting "cool points" from my boss.

Here are some examples of the battle between my head and heart when it comes to raising daughters.

Hitting:
Heart - If someone hits you, you hit them back. Hard. It's the only way they'll realize that you're not the best target of their aggression.
Head - If someone hits you, go tell an adult. Violence usually only leads to more violence like in Boyz in The Hood. And who's to say you might not raise a future bully?

Eating:
Heart - If you don't want to eat what mom made for dinner, fine. Get ready for your bath and then it's straight to bed. You'll just be hungry.
Head - If you don't want to eat what mom made for dinner, TOO BAD. Eat it anyway, and if you don't, there will be consequences and repercussions because if you don't, you'll just be hungry.

Sharing:
Heart - The world would be a better place if everyone learned how to share and cooperate with one another. If your sister lost her toy, let her play with yours for a little while and everyone is happy.
Head - The world would be a better place if everyone learned how to appreciate what they have. If your sister lost her toy, that's on her for not taking better care of it. Why should you have to suffer for her carelessness?

Being Nice:
Heart - Be nice to people in general. Respectful and polite. Pleasantness begets pleasantness and isn't that what the world needs more of these days?
Head - You don't know those people, keep your distance. You don't have to smile and wave at everybody you see. People are crazy these days and you just can't trust them.

So see, there are pros and cons to every way of thinking and like I said, with the stakes so high it's almost impossible to say which is right and which is wrong. It's almost like a coin toss and however it falls you have to just go with it and hope your heart or your head hasn't led you astray.