The Hulk in All of Us

"Leave your sister alone!"

I used to love watching the old Incredible Hulk show with Bill Bixby and Lou Ferigno. But before I got older and able to recognize the symbolism and underlying message about self-control I used to think "why doesn't he just stop getting angry?" As if it were that simple.

Little did I know that I would never really understand David Banner's struggles to contain his anger and other volatile emotions until I became a father.

I don't think I've EVER in my life prior to having children had to literally sit down and catch my breathe without having exerted any physical energy whatsoever. Before becoming a dad I may have said "I've had it up to here" millions of times. But not until recently do I really know what it feels like to have "had it up to here".

It's like you can really feel yourself filling up with something that you know won't be good if/when it spills out. Whether it's frustration or anger or pure exhaustion from the relentless demands of small children it can all become overwhelming in a way that can be scary sometimes.

And I've learned that it all boils down to patience and being aware enough to know when you'd better retreat and find that quiet "place" in your head to keep that tea pot of emotion from boiling over. This becomes even more obvious on the news when someone has hurt their child for one stupid reason or another. Yeah, sometimes they're just evil people but sometimes they are decent people who were just ill-prepared for the rigors of being a responsible parent. Something was lacking whether it's maturity, patience or compassion, etc. all of which are "must-have" qualities when trying to raise children.

So David Banner, I apologize for minimizing your struggle against Hulking out. It takes a strong person to fight back the natural emotions that result from a beating, either physical or emotional whether by the hands of a ruthless gang leader or a ruthless 4 year-old. Kudos to you for always fighting the good fight and keeping your composure when it mattered most. And even for the times when you couldn't keep it together, at least you felt bad about it.

I bet you would have been a great parent.